Oh, hi! You’ve caught me blogging! Yeah… it’s been a while, as I keep getting reminded by some friends and family. I’m actually ahead of last year’s schedule on posting a year-end wrapup, as I didn’t post until January 11th - one whole day early! Sweet!
I feel like 2007 is best described for me as Charles Dickens penned: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…” There were many successes and things to celebrate that happened in the past year, but it was a year of intense loss, hurt, and pain at the same time.
January started out pretty chilly — we hadn’t had that problem so far this year! I became a Mac snob, visited my cousins John and Melanie, and (of course) participated in various referee-related activities including accompanying JFLO to his game at Grambling for his ESPN U debut!
In February Brendan and I got to work a game together — always a good thing — and I was able to get to my games easier thanks to the GPSes! Worked some more games — including my first ever at Valpo, which was cool.
March brought a visit from Dr. Laura — always welcome here on Riva Row…
…got some sweet new poker chips, table, and chairs…
…got a new flat screen just in time for March Madness. HD — sweet!!!
April brought time to break in the new poker table…
…and to spend with family (my sisters Natalie and Richele above)…
…my niece Samantha…
…and extended family — Kelli and “Daddy Dan” (as he is called by his daughters), my father-in-law…
…lots of family and friends visiting because of Carrie’s 30th birthday … and later in the month our one year anniversary!
May started the yearly referee camps … with lots of traveling involved (both on and off the court!)
We spent a lot of time on the waterway as the weather is perfect this time of year.
And spent Memorial Day weekend with the Lyons and other friends… where I recorded one of the funniest videos ever! (You will laugh your a$$ off at 0:53 and 1:02 in the video — guaranteed!!)
June brought more referee camps, my cousin Candace’s wedding (yes, there are videos!), more referee camps - this time with JFLO and Brendan (highlights and video here)…
…and our first ever “Camping” Trip with the Lyons — SO much fun — trip report here with pics and video!
In July Carrie and I found some time to relax, just before she was about to start a two-year MBA program!
We also spent a lot of time with the Lyons before seeing them off to Switzerland towards the end of the month.
August brought the start of Carrie’s MBA school…
…and we painted! And by “we” I mean that Carrie and I hired someone to do it, obviously!
September brought some fun in Austin as UT destroyed TCU…
…and we shared some relaxing family time in Chappell Hill…
…and I begun another year of referee training…
This day I remember very specifically. It was September 17th and I was just coming back from New Orleans. Brendan and I had taken Jack to a high school football game on the previous Friday, which is why I received a call from my dad that my grandfather was in the hospital, undergoing emergency surgery. I spent a majority of the game on the phone with my sisters, planning to fly out to New Orleans the next day.
Over the weekend, my grandfather was responsive, but was on a ventilator and could not talk with us. When we were headed back to Houston, I dropped my sisters off to catch our flight while I returned the rental car — we were running a little late and if I didn’t catch our morning flight I would just get on the next one — no big deal. I can’t tell you how close I was to not getting on the plane at all — I didn’t want to leave.
I hadn’t seen my sisters at the gate and had ended up boarding before them. I had called Carrie while I was sitting there to chat with her. As I tried to tell her of my grandfather’s status, I finally broke down… “He couldn’t even talk.” I said, through tears. Richele and Natalie got on the flight and saw me on the phone — they came to check on me later, before we took off, which was very sweet.
When I returned to Houston, I headed straight to MD Anderson, as that is where Brendan and Julie were. On the way I picked up Fuddrucker’s for us because Julie wanted hamburgers (and What-a-burger wasn’t going to cut it!). I spent the afternoon and most of the evening there with them.
Late that night my dad phoned me to let me know that my grandfather’s condition had worsened. Basically my dad was telling me, in not so many words, that Pawpee wasn’t going to make it. I decided to fly back to New Orleans the next morning…
I lost my grandfather on Tuesday, September 18th, 2007… This is part of a blog post that I started many months back, but never finished because I just couldn’t summon up enough power within me to do so, as from this date on the rest of the year was a period of sadness and hurt for me.
I talked to my grandfather, “Pawpee”, on the evening of Wednesday, September 12th. Our conversation was unremarkable. The norm. A conversation similar to ones we had had many times before. Except this was the last day that I would hear his voice. It wasn’t the last day that I would tell him I loved him, but it was the last day that I would hear it from him.
Of course, in hindsight, I wish I had said something really deep and profound. Instead, we talked about how we were each doing, about Carrie going back to school, about my work and refereeing. I asked about how he was feeling and he said it was his “best day”, which I took as a good sign. He sounded great — just like himself — as if it was just another conversation similar to the many we had had previously.
Before I hung up I told him I loved him and he reciprocated. Until about a decade ago he might not have, as Pawpee was not one to express himself with words often. However, contracting and surviving cancer significantly changes a person, and after his bout with cancer, it was now a regular occurrence to hear “I love you” and “I’m proud of you”. He had always felt it and expressed it in other ways, of course, but these days he was sure to say it as well.
The flight back to New Orleans on Tuesday was one of the most emotional experiences of my life. I just wanted to make it back in time to say goodbye for one last time. I prayed that this would happen… and I shared that with Carrie, who shared it with Brendan — and they prayed for me as well (unbeknownst to me until later).
I had called my parents that morning and said “I’m flying back this morning.” — I did this while I was already at the airport so that I couldn’t be talked out of it or second guess myself. My mom picked me up at the airport and we headed straight to the hospital. Normally ICU has strict visiting hours — it was a little after 2pm and normal visitation wasn’t until 4pm — but at this point visiting hours were out the window, as the hospital staff were allowing family to visit as they wished.
I got to my grandfather’s room — his wife and sister were there — and I went straight to him. He was lying still — breathing, but otherwise unresponsive. I had talked / emailed with my sisters earlier in the day and Natalie had specifically asked me to tell him that she loved him — one last time. I promised her I would.
So, I told him. That I loved him. That my sisters loved him. And just stood there next to him, holding his hand. I wasn’t there five minutes before he took his last breath — with me standing right there with him. The pain was immense and immediate. If you haven’t experienced it there is no way to explain it.
I can’t tell you how much it meant to me that Brendan showed up, on Friday to attend my grandfather’s visitation and funeral service. He did this in secret, of course, knowing that I would have told him not to come if he had floated the idea to me. But this is what friends do — they show up, unannounced — sometimes uninvited — when they know that you need them most.
Richele, Natalie and I looking at pictures and watching some funny videos on my computer… It really reminds me of when I visited my Pawpee and he made me play the Robert Deniro SNL “Terrorist Watchlist” video several times! He thought it was hilarious (and it is)!!!!
October brought the normal NCAA and other officiating meetings…
…and an impromptu dinner at Pappasito’s with the Lyons, with Julie, Carrie, and Brendan reviewing some of the Lyons’ family pics on my new iPhone 
November flew by with not much blogging, but I stayed busy, including heading to Tulsa for a game at Oral Roberts — and for some poker at the Cherokee Casino with my buddy JFLO…
…I also got to spend some time with my extended family — something I look forward to every year.
Thanksgiving evening — Thursday, November 22nd — is when I received a phone call that I had been hoping and praying would never come. Brendan and I spoke several times that evening and he ended up taking Julie to MDA. Carrie and I decided that we would leave early the next morning to head back to Houston.
That night, around 4am Brendan called me. I have a special ringtone for Brendan, so when it rang I knew immediately — no one calls with good news at four in the morning. Julie wasn’t going to make it.
Carrie and I tried to get a few more hours of sleep in before hitting the road, but were not very successful. We got to MDA around 1pm the next day. Julie passed away Saturday evening just before 9pm.
I don’t think that I could adequately express the pain and hurt of losing Julie in mere words. Not only my personal loss, but watching her family, her husband, and her children lose her… There are no words. If you have not been there you do not understand. I do not understand as a husband, a father, a mother, a sister, a brother… only as a friend — because I have not been there, I have only witnessed. But not a day has passed when I do not think about her.
Earlier that evening I had been hanging out with my cousin Kendall and his girlfriend Kelsey… I hadn’t seen Kendall in about four years. After talking to Brendan and knowing what he was going through, I really didn’t want to go to bed… Driving back to Houston at ten at night was not really an option either, so we were going to leave early the next morning.
I stayed up with Kendall, Kelsey, and a few uncles and cousins late into the night… Having a few “Blue Cans” to help assuage the pain. Kendall was someone that really loved life and being around him that night really helped me — not only in the moment, but in the days to follow.
It breaks my heart that the next week we lost him, as he was killed in a plane crash. My mom had to tell me this as I was on the way home from Julie’s visitation service. I was numb.
I can’t even begin to express the pain that I feel for my cousin Kim, his mother — my Aunt Bobbie, his grandmother — and the rest of his family.
December was a blur… it sort of just came and went… We did get to spend a great day and evening up in Chappell Hill with Brendan and the kids. Here are my nieces and the Lyons’ kids hitting it off — nothing like kids playing with leaves to brighten your day!
In the evening we headed to Brenham’s First Baptist church where my mom participated in the handbell concert. She also sang a solo (as part of a trio) for the first time ever — and she was really good!!!
Meanwhile, all Jack wanted to know was when we got to do the fire (aka “Candlelight Service”)
Later that month, I had a game at Southern Utah and you have to fly into Vegas, so Brendan, JFLO and I made a trip out of it. Here is Brendan flopping quad 9s at the poker table — nice!!!
I wish that I could end 2007 on a happier note… One afternoon, I’m not sure what day it was — but mid-December, I was returning a call from my parents. I think that my mom may have left a message, but it was generic — a “call me later” type of voicemail.
I called my dad around 1pm on this day and said, “Good afternoon!” to which he responded “Not really.”
He then told me that their best friends, Dave and Sheila Churchman, had been in a house explosion in Colfax, LA. Dave and his mother, “Miss Mary”, were both killed in the explosion. Sheila, their son Don and his wife Narmena all survived the initial blast and were taken to hospitals. Sheila passed away in the hospital later that day.
To say that Dave and Sheila were good family friends is an understatement. As kids, they were “Uncle Dave” and “Aunt Sheila” — a southern way of saying you are part of our family.
My parents spent a lot of time with the Churchman’s — including going on vacations with them to France, Dubai, and all over the world. Many people have friends — good friends — but there are only certain special people that you would actually go on vacation with!
Sheila and Dave had two children — a daughter Kim, the oldest, and their son Don. I had seen Kim just a few months before at my grandfather’s funeral — along with Sheila and her sister. This is how close my parents and our family were to them — they did what friends do… show up when you need them. Before that it had been several years since I had seen any of them, although my parents met up with Dave and Sheila frequently.
Don wasn’t able to come to the services, as he had not yet been released from the hospital. We found out that he was released the evening of the service. Unbelievable, within the week following his release, he collapsed at a relative’s home and succumbed to his injuries — paramedics were unable to revive him.
Our friend Kim has lost her entire family — her grandmother, her parents, and her brother. Please pray for her. I cannot even begin to fathom the pain that she is going through.
There is lots more to say about things that happened in 2007 — and the beginning of 2008… So I will vow to post again soon and not take such a long blogging leave of absence! It’s strange — I think that when I have a lot to say, it actually stops me from blogging… like there is too much to say and I’m not sure that I can get all of my thoughts out, so I just say nothing. I’ll try to do better in 2008.
Brendan and I had a special opportunity this year… Something that our friend JFLO experienced earlier in the year… To work a game on national television! We worked in the Houston vs The Nation tournament — specifically, Madison vs Oak Hill, which was broadcast on ESPN U.
I do have the game TiVoed and will try to get some YouTube clips up soon — there is a lot of Brendan since he tried to monopolize the TV time!!!
I hadn’t made any new year’s resolutions up until now, but after reviewing 2007, I have a few…
- Take more photos — especially photos of people that you care about! Video too!
- Tell those that you are closest to how you feel about them. Give thanks when it is due. Kudos to those deserved. Don’t leave things unsaid.
- Enjoy the “now”. Today. Put off until tomorrow the trivial, but do the important stuff right away.
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